Why I Love Larry David

If you have not seen an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm go out and rent it. Start with the first episode. I have HBO just for this show. I cannot get enough of Larry David.

If you love sick, twisted humor mixed with foul language that's completly off the pc chart (and let's face it, who doesn't?) then you'll love this show. I dug into IMDb to find some great quotes to share with you in hopes of luring you into my sick world.

First, a little background: Larry is Jewish, so a lot of jokes center around his religion. His wife on the show, Cheryl, played by Cheryl Hines is perfect for the role. She usually just laughs at all of his antic. Larry David was the co-creator of Seinfeld, and this show has that same retarded humor only amplified. Also, Wanda Sykes is often on the show as one of Cheryl's friends. She's just plain butt-fucking funny.

Here are some quotes:

Larry: I am not obsessed with asses.
Wanda: Ok, assy. And what is all that shit all over your shirt? You been scrounging around, looking for ass?
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[Larry has a flat tire in the city, and doesn't know how to fix it]
Larry: [to various passerby] You know anything about changing a tire? Wanna help me change a tire here? No? I could use a little help. I need a little assistance. I never took a shop class, and I need a little help. Ok, I'm just coming flat out and saying 'help me'. Anybody want to help a semi-retarded individual change a tire? 25, 30 dollars. 30 dollars to change this tire. 35 dollars to change this tire right now.
[People are ignoring him]
Larry: I'll give you 10 dollars for a verbal response. 10 dollars. Anybody want to make 10 dollars and respond verbally? No?
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Larry: [Larry's house has been spray painted by trick-or-treaters he has offended and he's reporting it to cops] They don't deserve candy and I don't deserve this: "Bald Asshole"? That's a hate crime!
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[Getting out of jury duty]
Larry: Uh... well, your honor, I believe it would be hard to remain impartial seeing as the defendant is a negro.
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[Sometimes I feel like this.]

[Larry is on a bad trip, looking in a bathroom mirror]
Larry's reflection: What are you looking at? You see something? Huh?
Larry: Wh- What did I do?
Larry's reflection: What did you do? You know what you did! You did nothing!
Larry: If you want me to do something, just tell me!
Larry's reflection: You've got to change the diet, I've told you about that. I don't want the red meat, you're eating the red meat. I don't like that!
Larry: I'm doing the best I can.
Larry's reflection: Go to a doctor. Get yourself a checkup. Colonoscopy, you afraid to get a colonoscopy? What's the matter with you?
Larry: I'm sorry.
Larry's reflection: Everybody gets it! Get a colonoscopy!
Larry: I'm really going to do it.
Larry's reflection: You got your father-in-law's birthday coming up. You going to get a card?
Larry: [nodding] Okay.
Larry's reflection: You're not going to get a card! You're not going to do a fucking thing!
Larry: I'll try and do better. I will.
Larry's reflection: TV! TV! TV! That's what you like to do! Read a fucking book!
Larry: Okay, yeah, you're right! You know everything!
Larry's reflection: Who the fuck do you think you're talking to!