This is not a good post.
I had a crap-ass day. Although generally I'm a happy and contented person, today I felt empty inside. Doberman and Calzone will appreciate this conversation I had with myself in the car today:
"I need Jesus." ...(a little thought)...
"I so fucking do." ...(a little more thought)...
"That was probably inappropriate."
I actually did try to go to church tonight. Not Calzone's church either, a bonafied Jesus church. Someone had put these flyers in our boxes at school (which I actually verbally scoffed at), but since it was very near my house, I thought I'd drive by there. There were only about 3 people there though and they were old men. I chose not to go in.
How did I satiate my spiritual dearth? Breyers cookie dough ice cream. I'm probably going to hell.
"I need Jesus." ...(a little thought)...
"I so fucking do." ...(a little more thought)...
"That was probably inappropriate."
I actually did try to go to church tonight. Not Calzone's church either, a bonafied Jesus church. Someone had put these flyers in our boxes at school (which I actually verbally scoffed at), but since it was very near my house, I thought I'd drive by there. There were only about 3 people there though and they were old men. I chose not to go in.
How did I satiate my spiritual dearth? Breyers cookie dough ice cream. I'm probably going to hell.
posted by GrandPooOfAwesome @ 7:21 PM
15 Comments
15 Comments:
You're not going, even though you might get slapped because of the conversation. lol
Usually ice cream does lot better job than organized religious groups (read church). If you have good friends, you've got everything you need. :)
I'm not atheist, but I'm not that religious either. Even though I joined church at older age. No, not catholic, protestant, lutherian or anything like that. ;)
I hope you're feeling better. If not, you need to get more ice cream, maybe some chocolate and see a good movie. If that doesn't help, I have to come up with something else.. :o
I don't have good friends, that's part of the problem. I'm new here and haven't gotten involved in anything outside of school. I spend way too much time there. I'm trying to think of something else to do with my time.
Thanks for the advice ;).
Oh, sorry to hear that. :(
You should start shooting or skydiving. You know, something totally new, something you never thought you'd like. Then you would meet new people and have something to do that doesn't bore you. If it does, do something else. :)
I don't know about your job, but my experience is you should never have anything to do with your cow-orkers outside the office/work.
Or you can just start painting or playing piano. ;) Or you could learn new language. Try something hard. Japanese? Or I can make a suggestion too.. ;) lol
Uh, I'm not good at this, since I know I wouldn't do any of those.. hmm..
"Heaven is a place. A place where nothing ever happens."
(Talking Heads)
Man...you sound vulnerable. I wish I lived closer so i could take advantage of this situation.
All kidding aside sorry you are having a rough few days.
dob- thanks for the advice. i need to do something.
frog- you're so cute.
calzone- don't add nice stuff. it confuses me. ;) and thanks.
Sorry...I hope things get worse for you and you develop a drug problem which will lead to you being fired from your job.
At this point I will be there for you and invite you to spend some time at my home in an affluent town in Maine. When you arrive here I will pump you full of even more drugs and reduce your self esteem by alternating between building you up with compliments and then flying into violent rages.
It is at this point that I bring another woman into the relationship and train you both to be pickpockets.
i have always wanted to be a pickpocket and lacked the proper training. that just may work.
fin- thanks. i actually think about heavy stuff all the time. i just think all the time.
i'm not a fan of pc anyway. then again, i'm not native american.
Hey Poo...
Just dropped by to say "Hi", and found this post.
This "struggle" you're having??? It may be the closest to peace you've ever been.
And you know what? God is not offended by your comment...nor is He mad at or put off by any genuine expression of how you're feeling.
In fact, He already knew! That's what the "Cross" was for.
Meanwhile, praying things will get more comfortable really soon with the new life and job.
Love,
melanie
I often feel that spiritual people have it better; something to anchor to.
thanks melanie, you're very sweet. i appreciate you muchly.
yes, spinning girl, i agree. it's just a bit too easy to me, however, to justify everything i believe with blind faith. i did it for 26 blissful years.
That bild faith thing is just the reason I don't like most of the religions. "It's written".. Oh, if I write my own paragraph, is it a rule then?
Like my dad once said:"sure, I have my own God and he's got nothing to do with those jack-asses at the church"
lol
Anyway, my opinion: don't become a sheep. Find your own way around the things. You can talk to big pine-cone if it makes you happy and it doesn't bother/harm other people..
Hope you don't mind, Poo...don't really want to stir up any pots or argue...honestly, I don't have the time, but...just a short response to the "blind faith" comments;
..just wanted to say that there was nothing "blind" about coming to believe in God. This, once opinionated, strong-willed, self-reliant, selfish thirty-four year old made some pretty foolish choices, for someone as wise as she thought she was. I'll be forever grateful that the God of whom "it is written" turned out to be forgiving, true and more alive and real than anything my former "blind" self ever knew.
Oh, and thankfully, turns out He's also much, much different than those church-goin' "hypocrytes" who represent Him...including myself.:):)
I don't mind Melanie. Might not provoke the best response, but I celebrate your belief. I'm glad you have that.
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