Saturday, December 31, 2005

People Fascinations of 2005

I realize everyone's making lists as it's the end of the old and the beginning of a new year. I thought the best fit for me would be to blog about what I really spent the most time obsessing over and not pretend that I spent 2005 as I wish I had preoccupied with things that really matter like social justice issues.

So, here it is, a top ten list of celebrities I obsessed over in 2005 in ranking order.

#10 Tilda Swinton

Swinton is #10 as she is a more recent obsession, so I haven't had enough time to truly cultivate my infatuation. I'd seen her in other stuff, but it was first when I saw Constantine, that I recognized the kind of oddness that captures my attention. After seeing the Snow Queen, however, I was completely hooked.

#9 Nicole Kidman

Again, it takes something really odd to suck me in, and for Nicole Kidman that something was Dogville. Before Dogville, I cared little about Nicole Kidman. I loved Moulin Rouge! but still wasn't a big Nicole fan. I truly appreciated her performance in Dogville, then when Bewitched was coming out, I watched her interviews. You can not not like Nicole Kidman the person. She's terribly adorable and sweet.

#8 Francois Vogel

Who is Fracois Vogel? He's the guy from the HP commercials and he's fabulous.

#7 Ewan Mcgregor

The weird thing he did to get my attention was Trainspotting. Then he belted it out in Moulin Rouge! What chick doesn't love a guy who sings? I also just saw Young Adam with Tilda Swinton. Talk about odd! Besides, he's fucking adorable.

#6 Jane Fonda

I realize that Jane Fonda is not everyone's favorite and is even hated by many, but dammit I don't give a shit. Jane Fonda is the bomb. The first movie I loved her in was Barefoot in the Park. This year I bought 9 to 5 and have been watching the shit out of it. I was a sorely disappointed with Monster-in-Law, but oh well. I'm sure it was a book promotion ploy. I haven't read the book, but I will I assure you.

#5 Conan O'Brien

My God is he funny! And he's super smart which is a winning combination for making you uber sexy. I had tried to hate Conan O'Brien at one time, but it just could not be done. He is one fine hunk of man and the funniest person on the planet.

#4 Tina Fey

I'm not sure what it is about Tina Fey that makes me love her. It's partly, I think, that she's super funny, and partly that she's a very geeky sexy that not many can pull off. It's odd when someone can be a complete geek and still manage to command thousands of young girls to decide they're lesbian feminists just because they developed a crush on them after watching Mean Girls and then fantasizde about them getting it on with Amy Pohler after Weekend Update. Then again, I like odd.

#3 Jason Bateman

Oh God, do I ever love Jason Bateman! I heart him more than my heart can stand. I didn't so much dig the young Jason Bateman, but as he got older he became one awesome specimen. I love him so very very much. Call me Jason.

#2 Jon Stewart

I was loving Jon Stewart long before it was cool to love Jon Stewart. I see a pattern of brains and comedy. Jon Stweart is the king.

#1 Cate Blanchett

Cate Blanchett will always be #1 on my list of obsessions for the simple fact that she is the most fabulous person in the entire world. This cannot be helped. It's unchangeable.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

All Eyes on Joey Polanski

I'm really linking this solely to be able to post this hot picture, but Joey Polanski definately has a great theory.

I have always wondered though what the male fascination could be with cartoons. I'm close to positive (and female readers are welcome to correct me) that women do not drool over male cartoon figures. I still have to admit, however, that Catra up there is pretty freakin' hot, but who wouldn't be in those boots? But even with my semi-healthy although sometimes morbid fascination with all things related to the He-Man Universe, I still didn't have a crush on He-Man. At least I don't think I did.

Anyway, Polanski has pieced together a very interesting theory about hot cartoon characters and red hair. I'm happy with his conclusion:

"What do men realy want?" -- rmember this: We want wimmin who are red, hot, curvy, an lackin any kinda depth!

Except the lacking depth part. Not so sure I've got the right kind of curves either, but I did decide to keep the red. I made it permanent yesterday and it's a much more intense red. I may not keep it, but I thought, if you're gonna do it, might as well go all out.



I'm trying to get my shit together. By the way, you can't clean up that phrase and still have it make sense. I saw a couple of the teachers I teach with yesterday and tried to say, "I'm trying to get my stuff together," and they said, "What stuff?" I had to say, "Okay, that was an attempt to say, 'get my shit together' politely." They laughed.

I'm anxiously awaiting Spring. By summer I will have written a dissertation and graduate with that fucking PhD in May. Right now, I'm just trying to clean shit out.

In entertainment news...

I just downloaded the soundtrack for the t.v. show Grey's Anatomy and I'm loving it. I haven't heard a compilation like that since The L Word soundtrack from the first season. I really like the show too despite the rumor's that the show's star Elen Pompeo is a real crazy bitch. Apparently she showed her ass on Ashton's Punk'd. She's still totally hot.

I ventured out the day after Christmas (not recommended) to watch Memoirs of a Geisha (very recommended). It was freakin' packed out. I was late and someone had my ticket waiting. I believe I literally got the last seat in the house...right up in the front row. The bad part was the strain to see the screen right in front of me, the good part was that I got to sit by myself. You do not want people yammering in your ear when you watch this film. Instead, you'll want to savor every moment the movie is on...all 145 minutes of it. Aside: Michelle Yeoh rocked my world like she did in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

the iPod

I've been obsessed with my new iPod. I cannot, however, seem to figure out how to format video to play in it. Still, I've had it attched to my ears at every moment. I just don't understand how those crappin ear bud's fit in normal people's ears. Maybe my ear holes are too small?


And if you're looking for dvds at a good price, try your local pawn shops. I almost always find something there. It seems people who give their movies to pawn shops have great taste in movies, or not so great as their giving their shit away. I bought Donnie Darko (as I said earlier, I think time travel may just be possible) and Bandits (to replace the one I lost) for $4 each today. Sweet.

The salesman at the pawn shop tried to sell me on a drum set. I think he went too far when I told him I didn't have room and he told me I could keep it at his house. Hell alot of good that would do me.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Festivus is Over...Life Continues

Perhaps the best part of being home was watching VH1's 40 Greatest Pranks. I generally don't watch that much t.v. at my apartment, but I do try to keep up with my share of trashy "reality" t.v. Watching all of the best prankster moments at once was like one big orgasm of comedy. I just had to try to overlook my mom repeatedly interrupting with, "So do you wanna hear this story or do you want to watch t.v.?"

And oh my God, the cartoons that were on! If there'd been that many cartoons on when I was a kid, I would've never left the tube. I was a total cartoon whore.

I also caught the show Creature Comforts for the first time on BBCAmerica. How'd I miss this show? It's fanfuckingtastic.

Christmas, however, wasn't all about t.v. shows. It was about reindeer ears. I brought two pair home with me in hopes of being festive, but I rarely got to wear them. Dad had them the most. Antler hog.

We had fun, and it was a nice Christmas. Other than my 18 year-old, unmarried sister's news that she's pregnant, it was typical family fun full of bad jokes and overeating.

How bad were the jokes? Hear for yourself on youtube. I couln't seem to upload it as an audio file, so I added some crappy pictures starting and ending with a picture I took of the Dukes of Hazard car that I followed for several miles right by my parents' house. You'll probably agree that the picture's befitting when you hear my brother-in-law tell the joke. Enjoy.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Happy Fucking Holidays

And a Merry Christmas too. I'll be back Sundayish. Going to see the fam. Oh, and I'm finally getting an iPod, so if you send me a video of yourself, I can carry you around in my pocket. :) Also, if you're really bored over the holidays, make me a list of must have songs.

Here's a couple of movie recommendations to cure boredom. Can you tell I'm planning on being bored for the next few days?

I say go foreign.

Love Me If You Dare

I'm an absolute sucker for colorful French films. I fell in love with Ma Vie en Rose which I blogged about back in July. This movie has the same imaginative and stunning visuals. It also has that wonderful tune (Ma Vie en Rose) that I can now not get out of my head. The plot will make you both love and hate the movie, but it's definately worth the time.

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Lola Rennt
Franka Potente Moritz Bleibtreu and Herbert Knaup directed by
Tom Tykwer (who also directed the ever fabulous
Cate Blanchett in Heaven)

Just a fun thriller to watch and she has really cool hair.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Half-Naked Thursday

Okay, not really naked at all, but I am naked under my clothes. I'm always naked there. Kinky aren't I? I'm playing with color while I'm out of school. This is reddish. I'll probably change it again in a couple of days.

This is the first HNT I've participated in. I reckoned hair color change was a good enough reason. :)

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

More Tilda

Because you know you wanted it. Okay, I just wanted it.

And not just because she has been compared to Cate Blanchett.

Cate is, for anyone who didn't know, the most fabulous woman in the entire world.


Fucking fierce. Put that in your witch and elf lovin' pipe and smoke it.

Watch Cate on Ellen at my youtube nitch.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Tilda Swinton IS The Chronicles of Narnia

I'm pretty sure it's wrong on multiple levels that throughout my viewing of The Chronicles of Narnia I kept thinking, "Damn, the White Witch is hot." Tilda Swinton has captivated me since Orlando. She rocked the world of eerily fascinating in Constantine. She makes austere terribly attractive, and she's fiercely intelligent. I love her. Do you think she'll be my friend?

This is a fabulous movie, just don't go watch it with your religious family members, because that's all you'll fucking hear about.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Ode to the Sixth Grade...1988

Red Red Wine

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My sixth grade year was a pretty great year. It was my last year of elementary bliss before entering the scary world of junior high. My best friend was Tammy...absolutely inseparable. My obsessions: Chad Allen and the UB40 song Red Red Wine. I wanted to perform that song in our yearly lip sync contest, but my mom wouldn't let me. Instead we settled for Kokomo by the Beach Boys. What a disaster! We performed it not only at the school's lip sync contest, but also at the farmer's fair at the local COOP where I also participated in a Big Mac eating contest. The performance was hideous. I had come up with the choreography myself...*shutter*. The video of the lip sync contest is still available for check out at my old middle school.

Sixth grade was the year I joined girl scouts upon the pleading of my best friend Tammy. I don't know why we wanted to join, but I'm glad we did. We managed to get into lots of sweet, sweet trouble there. The downside was that we actually had to do stuff like building a fucking raft and actually get on it in the water...*shutter* again.

It was also the year I started to swear. In fact, I had never uttered a single swear word until the sixth grade. This is true. The first time I said a swear word was when my neighbors and I were looking in the windows of an empty house that we thought was haunted and we thought we heard something inside. We ran up the hill spouting out swear words like troopers. After that, the seal had been broken. Tammy and I thought we were super cool going around the school singing "We're Too Damn Hype" by Will Smith.

I was pretty good at looking innocent with my parents. I always reminded myself of a female Ferris Bueller. One day, however, I got caught. Although my dad always took us to school, we had to ride the bus home in the afternoons...*shutter* again. One day, a little boy kept flipping me off but always with the wrong finger. He was totally trying to annoy me and doing a fabulous job. Finally, when I got off the bus, I turned around and shined the big middle finger so brilliantly that it made me swell up with pride. I walked up our driveway with great confidence. My confidence fell, however, when I saw that my mom was sitting on the porch swing waiting for us to come home. Bummer.

My sixth grade teacher, Mr. Gowan, was always telling us that he knew Clark Gable. I never knew if that was true or not. He did very much resemble him. I loved Mr. Gowan even though when he caught me reading a German to English book he made me get up and read it in front of the class. (My first year of teaching was in that school and I actually found that book laying on a shelf in my room.) He liked me despite the trouble I gave him. On the last day of sixth grade, we were on the playground waiting for our parents to come pick us up. When they called for me, he walked me in and said to me, "If I had a class full of kids like you, I'd have a perfect class."

Props to my main man, Mr. G.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Mostly I'm Just Tired.

Just in case you were wondering. ;)

I totally fell for it:

student: Miss "GrandPoo"...
me: Yes?
student: David's dad had three sons, Snap, Crackle, and...
me: Pop?
student: No! David!


I just heard an air marshal on CNN say of being attacked in the air by a terrorist, "There's a lot of downside to it."

Wha? Is there an upside?

You really should know that Very Vanilla Soy by Silk is made by the gods.

Here's to a stress free holiday season.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

James Blunt

Kudos to SNL for having James Blunt as it's musical guest tonight. I'm not usually one to jump on a bandwagon, but if loving Blunt is a bandwagon, them I'm jumping right on.

He sounded just as great live as he does in recording, and he has a fantastic school boy charm.

I love him.